I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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