First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
