I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
