just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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