What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
