Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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