Cold hands, warm shart.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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