i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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