i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
