I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
