so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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