and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
