thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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