Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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