I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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