This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
