I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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