College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize