I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
