no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
