Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
