new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize