what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize