I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
