you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize