Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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