Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you win again, gameday.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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