I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
