And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
