Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
