I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
