We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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