I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
