she woke up with a sticky ear
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
