Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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