She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
