im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
