You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
