You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
