i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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