apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize