Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Operation Purity has been aborted
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
