Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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