True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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