I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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