Having a random hookup so left but love u
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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