we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
