Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
