i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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