I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
