I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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