hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
