I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
