and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
