we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
