i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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