ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
