guys are not supposed to queef...right?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
