If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
