I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
