On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
