Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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