The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
