I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
