okay pat passed out under dana's car
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
