Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
